Sweet Thursday; Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bagels

Greatest thing since sliced bread; apparently there have been a lot of great things since sliced bread, but not in the world of slicing! What happened, they got to slicing bread and quit, already!
Why didn’t they move on to bagels? That’s right. Have you ever seen a bagel sliced completely through? I’m talking about the ones you buy off the grocery shelf.
They are still attached. You have to finish the job. You have to get a knife out and finish it. You risk unnecessary injury. Can’t they do this at the bakery? They slice the bread. What do they have against the bagel?
I’m told that they don’t slice them all the way through is to leave the matched tops and bottoms together. Who gives a crap? If I get two tops, somebody else gets two bottoms. That’s life!
If you ask me the whole bagel industry is just too interested in profits to come up with a good slicing solution. If a guy comes along with a slicing and packaging process that leaves the top and bottom together, he gets the market share.
It’s a pretty scary world that can put a man on the moon, but can’t slice a bagel and package it so the top and bottom stay together. Which leads me to wonder if the moon landing wasn’t all staged?