What's Arnold Palmer Really Up To?

Have you ever wondered where do the names for pills come from?
You might think they are names after the inventor or the chemicals in the pill. Or at least named for something that relates to the disease, cure, or symptom for which the pill is used. Well, actually there is sort of a method to naming them, but it’s very boring. And beyond that it is just left to a panel of wordsmith/advertising/propaganda/huckster types to come up with a snappy name.
Xarelto is funny one. I’ve seen enough Road Runner and Daffy Duck cartoons to know that any label name that starts with X is supposed to kill you. And elto is too close to alto which means high. So I’m thinking you get high and die.
I watch the commerical on TV about ten times a day with Arnold Palmer, Kevin Nelin, Chris Botch, and some NASCAR guy. They are all playing golf and having good time. I’m so caught up in the good time they’re having that I don’t even know what Xarelto is for. If I take it will it take ten strokes off my game? From all the disclaimers and warnings they read, it will either take ten years off my life or cause a stroke.
Then they all order Arnold Palmers. That stuff is half tea. That thins your blood and Xarelto thins your blood. Where’s the warning for that one?
Xarelto’s real name is Rivaroxaban. I know why the name change. It sounds like a river in the north of Egland; the River Oxaban. Anything with “ox” in it is bad and “ban” makes it sound illegal. Which, of course, makes it sound like a street drug and makes it worth 100 times the cost of developing, advertising, and distributing.
“Dude, you know where I can score some oxaban. My bloods been runnin’ a bit thick lately.”
“No, but I can take you too a clinic for an Arnold Palmer.”

Myself, I’d call it a designer drug and call it Skinny Veins.  
Anyway, I've heard that although recent sales of Xarelto has fallen Arnold Palmer Ice Tea has risen.