Is There An Age Limit On Butt Lifts?

My butt fell years ago. That’s really not quite right. It just went someplace else. I just don’t have one to be found. I’ve looked for it and thought I’ve seen it, but I’m too shy to ask the person who has it if
I can have it back. As a result, I’ve been wondering if it’s too late for a butt implant?

What is the cut off age? I don’t want to be known as the guy who walks into the senior center with the nice butt. I just don’t want them to say here’s the guy who needs to hike his pants up. And I don’t want to sit down at McDonalds and a kid with a happy meal decides to stick a fry in my butt crack.

I’m not vain. It’s just that I want something to hold my pants in place. Right now if I don’t cinch my belt tight enough I look like one of those rappers or skateboarders with the waste of their pants down around their knees. They walk like they just messed themselves. I already walk like that.

Would I have to actually go to Brazil to get a Brazilian butt lift. How come foreign countries are always on the leading edge of surgical procedures? If this were available years ago Claudette Colbert could have extended her career another 10 years.

I might just try some sort of implants in my pants; gradual at first. I don’t want everyone thinking I’m bloated from too much salt intake and offering advice.

Maybe I’ll just sew a pound sack of hamburger for each cheek. That will really give the dogs something to sniff.