Englishmen and Saint Valentine’s Day
“Absolutely nothing out the ordinary,” Waldo said.
“For heaven’s sake how is your wife to know your love for her?” Burton said.
“My wife is quite content with how she is treated the other 364 days,” Waldo said. “If all the sudden I was to pay special attention on a certain day she might think something is up.”
“It is a day for love, Waldo,” Burton said. “Make the best of it.”
“Frankly,” Waldo said. “I find the whole idea of Valentine’s a bit contrived and perverse; a priest, poison arrows, and an oversexed lad mixed into some sort of fairy tale. The whole thing is not fit for child or adult consumption. It‘s the sort of superstitions hillbillies and Irishman revel in.”
“It’s a happy time, Waldo, ole boy,” Burton said. “You should try it at least once.”
“We’re Englishmen, Burton,” Waldo said. “We don’t trifle with such things. This is the sort of thing they do in the Americas.”
“It was the Englishmen that elevated the day to what it is today,” Burton said.
“Not true Englishmen,” Waldo said.
“We colonized the world with Englishmen,” Burton said.
“Not by setting aside just one day to do so,” Waldo said.