Friends, Fools, And Good News

I'm not in this picture.
That's not me.
“Thanks for taking me out to lunch,” Eric said to Roger as the waitress finished taking their orders. 

“What‘s the occasion?’

“Did you hear our buddy, Kenton, is about to receive the Nobel Prize for literature this year?” Roger said.

“Yes, I was the first to hear,” Eric said.

“No, it was me,” Roger said.

“Actually,” Eric said. “It was me. He said he just got off the phone with a Swedish guy on the Nobel committee.”

“Than you should buy,” Roger said. “Besides the prize is Norwegian.”

Just as Eric and Roger glower at one another Dave walks into the restaurant and sits at the table with them.

“Hey,” Dave says. “Why don’t you guys go together and buy me a lunch?”

“Why?” They both said barely being able to hold a tone of civility.

“I’m not in the best of modes right now,” Eric said.

“Me too,” Roger said. “I invited Eric for lunch to celebrate Kenton’s good news. He is going to be awarded the Nobel Prize for literature. I’m buying because I was the first he shared the news with and Eric insists he was the first.”

“So why should we buy you lunch?” Eric said.

“You‘re the first guys I‘ve told this to,” Dave said. “A month ago I called Kenton. I had this phony Swedish accent and told him I was on the Nobel committee and informed him he was going to win the Nobel Prize for literature.”

“I thought the Nobel was Norwegian,” Eric said.

“Maybe it’s Danish,” Roger said. “I get all those blond people mixed up.”

“It‘s Norwegian,” Dave said. “But the NO BELL (ding, ding) is Swedish. I just got off the phone with him talking in the same Swedish, Norwegian or Finnish accent. I told him he won the NO BELL prize for literature because nothing he writes rings with anybody.” Dave started laughing. “Isn’t that the funniest thing you ever heard?”

“I wasn’t fooled for a moment,” Eric said. “His writing is terrible.”

“Me neither,” Roger said. “But he fooled me before he fooled you.”